10 Brutal Truths About Relationships: Harsh Realities You Need to Know
Relationships can be wonderful, but they also come with their fair share of challenges. While movies and pop culture often portray romantic relationships through rose-colored glasses, the reality is far more complex. Here are 10 brutal truths about relationships that everyone should be aware of:
1. Love is Not Enough
As romantic as it sounds, love alone is not enough to sustain a healthy, lasting relationship. In addition to love, a relationship requires mutual respect, compatibility, compromise, communication, and effort from both people. The early passion and excitement of a new relationship will always fade over time. The couple has to actively nurture their bond to keep it strong.
2. Incompatibilities Will Be Exposed
No matter how compatible you may seem in the beginning, fundamental incompatibilities will eventually surface. Different communication styles, invisible expectations, disagreements about finances, clashing worldviews - these latent incompatibilities will be exposed with time. The success of the relationship then depends on how well you are able to work through conflicting needs and find solutions together.
3. The Power Dynamics Keep Changing
Power dynamics in relationships are constantly shifting. At times you will be more emotionally invested, and at other times your partner will be. The partner who is less invested often has more power and influence in the relationship. As your needs and priorities change over time, so do these power dynamics. The goal is to keep communicating and ensuring that you both feel valued.
4. Your Partner Won't Fix Your Insecurities
Your partner cannot 'fix' your deep-seated insecurities or make up for your emotional shortcomings. While a supportive partner can help you manage them better, unless you put in the work on yourself, your insecurities will surface again and again. Take responsibility to manage your own wounds, unhealthy patterns and triggers that exist independent of the relationship.
5. It Will Get Boring At Times
No matter how in-love you once were, every long-term relationship goes through periods of boredom and monotony. The stability and predictability of an old relationship may feel dull compared to the excitement of a new romance. Accept these phases as normal, and re-ignite the spark by trying new activities together.
6. You Both Will Change
Change is the only constant. As you grow together as individuals, both you and your partner will change over time and not always at the same pace. While core values remain the same, interests, priorities, opinions and personalities can undergo major shifts. This requires you to fall in love over and over again with each other's evolving selves.
7. You Have To Work At It
A strong relationship doesn't happen on its own. It requires continual nurturing from both partners - open communication, empathy, patience, sacrifice and commitment. Rather than resigning yourself to a dysfunctional relationship, reflect on whether you both are willing to do the work needed to make it mutually fulfilling.
8. Conflict is Inevitable
Two unique individuals will invariably have disagreements and conflicts from time to time. What matters is how you manage and resolve them. Letting conflicts fester, stonewalling, yelling, name-calling - all these will slowly erode the trust between you. Learn to communicate through differences, manage emotions and tackle the problem as a team.
9. Infidelity Can Happen
Sadly, infidelity remains common today, often due to declining intimacy or commitment. Healing after cheating is challenging but not impossible; it requires sincerity, remorse and effort from the unfaithful partner. But if deception, disloyalty or betrayal form a pattern, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
10. All Relationships End
Whether you stay together till old age, divorce after some years, or break up after a few months - all relationships ultimately end. Even if the relationship was not meant forever, there are still invaluable lessons to be learned, experiences to cherish, and memories to keep close to your heart. Not all endings have to be sad if the relationship enriched your life along the way.
No relationship is perfect. By keeping these brutal truths in mind, you can nurture your partnership with realistic expectations. Of course, there are joyous truths too - companionship, pleasure, support and growth. Every relationship goes through seasons - learning what to hold on to and when to let go is part of the journey.
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Source: Reddit
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