7 Reasons Why Perfection Isn't Needed to Find Love in Modern Dating

September 21, 2023

Dating in today's world is no walk in the park. Between navigating dating apps, overcoming ghosting and breadcrumbing, and trying to meet people organically, finding a meaningful connection can feel impossible. It's easy to get discouraged and start questioning what's "wrong" with you.

But here's the truth: you don't need to be perfect or have everything figured out to be worthy of love and affection. Keep reading for 7 reasons why it's okay to be struggling with modern dating - it doesn't mean anything is inherently wrong with you.

1. Dating Is Largely Based on Luck

As much effort as you put in, finding a partner involves a great deal of luck and perfect timing. You have to be in the right place at the right time to meet the right person who is also available and interested. It's not always a reflection of your worthiness or dateability. As they say, timing is everything in love.

2. You Don't Need to Reach Self-Actualization

Some people seem to imply you must go on a long personal journey of self-discovery and reach full self-actualization before being ready for a relationship. In reality, very few people do this - most are just average people who found the right person at the right time. You don't have to "find yourself" first.

3. Imperfection is Normal

We all have flaws and less-than-ideal traits. You don't have to find a "cure" for all your struggles with mental health, self-image, insecurity or anything else to be ready for love. We all bring our own unique baggage; bringing yours doesn't make you unworthy.

4. Attraction Is Subjective

You may feel you don't match society's ideals for physical attractiveness. But remember attraction is highly subjective. There are people out there who will appreciate your looks just as you are. You don't need to mold yourself to fit a superficial standard of beauty.

5. Desiring a Partner is Human Nature

It's normal to crave companionship. We are social creatures wired for connection. So don't feel pathetic or clingy for wanting a partner - it's simply human nature. You deserve affection even if you're struggling with depression, anxiety or loneliness.

6. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

It's easy to spiral when friends and peers start getting into relationships and you don't. Remember, comparison breeds discontentment. Their relationship journey is not a reflection of your worthiness. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

7. The Problem May Be Circumstantial

Take comfort in knowing periods of being single or dating struggles are often circumstantial - not some fatal personal flaw. The problem could be something as simple as living in an area with a small dating pool. Don't assume the worst.

The bottom line? Modern dating is undeniably tough. But that doesn't necessarily mean something is deeply wrong with you or your approach. Cut yourself some slack: you are allowed to struggle while still being worthy of love. Focus on gradually bettering yourself at your own pace, not perfection. The right person will appreciate and accept you, flaws and all.

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Source: Reddit

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