Got Ghosted? Here are 5 Tips to Avoid In The Future

Unfortunately, some of us are all too familiar with ghosting. You meet someone online, have relatively good conversation for a while and then boom - they disappear! Did they fall off a bridge? Did their pet die? Does their city not have any Wi-Fi service at all? It’s most likely none of that. The facts of the matter are you may have gotten ghosted.

Ghosting is a term that refers to abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so. And, even if the other person reaches out to ask what’s wrong, they are met by silence from the Ghoster. The person literally vanishes on you as if they were a ghost, hence the term.

Yes, ghosting is the easy route that most people use to avoid confrontation or feelings of any sort. However, there are some things that you can do to avoid being ghosted, too.

To protect your sanity and to avoid wasting your time in the future, read on below to see our 5 tips on how to avoid being ghosted.

1. Don’t Be A Pen-Pal

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It is absolutely a must to meet your match, whether virtually or in person, as soon as possible. Avoid falling into the wormhole of messaging this person back and forth for months with no end game in sight.

Now wait. I know a lot of us want to message someone for a while to make sure that we’re compatible with them but doing the pen-pal thing for too long can get frustrating. I mean, the dating world is ever moving. Why waste time taking a chance on someone you never met when you can meet up with another match within a much shorter time span?

I don’t know about you, but small talk can get boring real quick. To avoid being ghosted, just schedule some time for that video call, or block off some time on your Friday evening for drinks.

2. Make Your Intentions Known From The Jump

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Nobody likes their time wasted. We especially don’t like our time wasted on dating apps. To a number of singles, stating your intentions within the first few conversations may seem “pushy” but don’t listen to those people!

When you match with someone, make your intentions known very early on. This makes it easy for the other person to know where you stand, and it saves you time from having to guess where you stand with the other person. If you do end up having the same goals in mind, the chances of you being ghosted decreases significantly.

3. Put Effort Into Getting To Know Them

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If you’re meeting a new person online, of course you don’t know anything about them. So, it should be common knowledge to want to ask questions and get to know the real them, and vice versa, right? Right. But it’s not always so clear cut with others. If you’re getting a lot of one word answers and dry replies, then it may be a sign that you both aren’t compatible, and that they may decide to ghost you, or you ghost them!

When on dating apps, talking with new people means learning what you both have in common, future aspirations, values, and boundaries. This is a crucial step, so don’t try to skip this!

4. Don’t Tell All Your Business

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It may be tempting to indulge your match into every detail of your life after you’ve caught a “vibe” but don’t fall into this trap. The key is to stay open and engaging, but mysterious enough to keep your match guessing and waiting to learn more about you when the both of you meet.

Also, if the other person reads into your super long messages too hard and thinks that you sound like a mess, the conversation may have a high chance of ending abruptly.

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5. Stay Away From Sensitive Stuff…Kind Of

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Remember, you don’t truly know the people you match with online, and that includes their stance on politics, racism, or social issues. So, it’s best to avoid these topics initially. Keep it light, keep it friendly, and keep it casually. Again, too heavy of conversation right off the bat may lead your match to ghost you before you both even get to know each other.

The caveat here is that social issues and racial injustices are important to many of us. So, if you notice that your match has said something insensitive about a group of people or situation that you care about, consider that a red flag and ask yourself if this person aligns with who you are. If they don’t, try not to ghost and just let them know that you appreciate the conversation, but you want to discontinue pursuing anything further.

So yeah, to put in plain terms, ghosting usually comes about after poor communication. To be honest, it can actually be a blessing for you. You may have dodged a major bullet and saved yourself a big-time headache.