I Walked Away From a Date Because She Commented on My Height

Dating can be tough, and finding someone you truly click with takes time. We all have our list of dealbreakers and red flags when getting to know a potential partner. For me, one comment on a recent date led me to immediately walk away.

I'm a 30 year old Italian man who moved to America a few years ago. I'm average height at 5'9". Back home in Italy, my height was never an issue. Here in the U.S. though, it seems like height takes on an absurd level of importance.

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The Date Where a Comment on My Height Led Me to Leave

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I recently went on a date that seemed to be going well. We were chatting and having fun. Then, out of nowhere, my date said "You're very attractive despite being a little short."

I was so shocked and offended that I immediately got up and left. This woman tried to apologize and texted later to say I had other great qualities. But to me, the damage was done.

I don't want to feel like I need to "make up" for my height with other attributes. My height isn't a flaw that needs compensating. This experience really highlighted the extreme height obsession in American dating culture. It left me questioning if I even want to date women here anymore.

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Why Her Comment Was So Offensive

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There were several reasons her comment about my height offended me so deeply:

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1. I'm Average Height

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At 5'9", I'm not even short by American standards. The average height for a man in the U.S. is 5'9". Yet this woman acted like I was really small.

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2. It Felt Like Body Shaming

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Criticizing someone's height feels akin to body shaming about weight. It's not something I can control or change. So to have it treated as a negative really stung.

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3. It Was a Backhanded Compliment

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Rather than just complimenting me, she couched it in this "despite your height" dig. I don't want to be seen as attractive in spite of something about my body.

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4. Height Isn't Everything

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There's so much more to attraction than height. I try to look at the whole person - their personality, humor, interests, etc. Reducing me down to just my stature felt very objectifying.

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The Extreme Focus on Height in U.S. Dating Culture

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As someone new to dating in America, the extreme fixation on height has been jarring.

Back in Italy, I'd be one of the shorter guys in a room and still get hit on the most. Women seemed to care more about my overall attractiveness and personality.

Here, it's like being 6'+ is a minimum requirement. Yet only about 14.5% of American men are over 6'. The height obsession cuts out huge numbers of potentially compatible partners.

Online, women fixate on height in dating profiles. Many straight up say "no men under 6 feet." I've had friends who are great guys struggle just because they're more average in stature.

The rigid posture American men maintain also stands out to me. They seem to constantly stand extra straight in an attempt to maximize their height. Back home, posture is more natural and relaxed.

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Why I'm Rethinking Dating American Women

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My negative experience with this woman's height comment has really made me reconsider dating American women at all.

I like so many other things about the U.S. But the superficial dating culture focused on height is a major turn off. I crave the openness and laidback vibe of European dating.

Rationally, I know not every American woman is so hung up on height. But it seems so much more ingrained in the culture here. I find myself pining for the effortlessness of dating back home.

For now, my plan is to steer clear of dating apps and American women. Perhaps I'll get involved in more cultural groups as a way to meet potential partners. My time in the U.S. isn't over yet. But the dating scene has certainly left a sour taste in my mouth.

The takeaway is that we all deserve someone who values us as a complete package - not just a single trait like height. Dating should be about meaningful connections, not superficial requirements. Don't settle for someone who criticizes your body or makes you feel insecure. There are kind, open-minded partners out there if you just keep looking.

Source: Reddit