Women Share Their Experiences Being the Third in a Threesome

September 21, 2023

Threesomes are a fantasy for many, but what's the reality like for the third person? I asked women on Reddit to share their experiences being the additional partner in threesomes. Their stories ranged from amazing to awkward to downright disastrous.

Communication is Key

The most common theme in positive experiences was clear communication between all parties beforehand. Knowing expectations, limitations, and relationship dynamics made the experience smooth and enjoyable.

Jessica said, "I had a great time being the third for a married couple I knew. We all sat down over drinks and discussed boundaries and expectations. It removed the awkwardness and let me relax into enjoying it."

Being on the same page prevented hurt feelings and jealousy. Tension is far less likely when everyone voices their comfort level from the start.

It Can Strengthen Relationships

Partners who had solid foundational trust viewed adding a third as an erotic adventure. The threesome enhanced their connection instead of threatening it.

Marie shared, “It brought my husband and I closer. We were both focused on making it fun for each other and our guest. The whole dynamic felt playful versus jealous.”

A third person may heighten mutual attraction between partners. Watching your significant other be sexual can be a turn on.

Feelings Can Get Complicated

Even with ground rules, emotions can get tricky. Attraction or attachment to the new addition does happen. Some handled it well, while for others it unravelled the relationship.

Brooke said, “I caught feelings for the woman in our threesome. It caught me off guard. My boyfriend was cool about it thankfully, but it was an awkward situation.”

Going in, think about how you’ll respond if unexpected emotions develop later. Maintaining open and honest communication with your partner is essential.

It's Not For Everyone

Many women felt "meh" about their threesome adventures. Even if they didn't have a bad experience, it just wasn't something they cared to repeat.

Lindsey shared, "Honestly it was just awkward. I didn't hate it but felt relieved when it was over. Group sex is not really my thing I learned.”

Don't feel pressured to try a threesome just because it's hyped up. If it doesn't align with your comfort level, don't do it.

Things Can Go Horribly Awry

Worst case scenarios ranged from hurt feelings to destroyed relationships to nonconsensual encounters. Red flags included partners pressuring reluctant significant others or springing a surprise third on them.

Sara said, "It was a horrible idea. My boyfriend pushed for it, I gave in even though I hated the thought, and of course it was a disaster. We broke up not long after."

Never let anyone talk you into something sexually that you don't enthusiastically want yourself. A threesome should only happen if all three people independently desire it.

Advice for Being the Third

For those intrigued about being the add-on partner, here are some tips from women with positive experiences:

  • Meet the couple first in a non-sexual situation to gauge the vibe. Make sure no one seems uneasy.
  • Be assertive about your boundaries. Don't do anything you aren't fully comfortable with or feel pressured into.
  • Pay attention to both individuals equally unless requested otherwise. Make sure no one feels left out.
  • Keep communication flowing during the encounter. Check in on how everyone is feeling.
  • Understand it's just about sex by being the third. Don't expect anything more from the couple afterwards.
  • Use protection and get tested. Take responsibility for your sexual health.

As you can see from these varied anecdotes, threesome experiences run the gamut from wonderful to regrettable. With proper precautions though, they can be an exciting sexual adventure. Just enter thoughtfully and cautiously.

What do you think? Would you ever consider being a third partner in a threesome? Let us know in the comments!

Source: Reddit

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